About shame and making mistakes

Hi friends, and happy Sunday! A couple of weeks ago, we met our son in the city on his lunch break. He snapped a photo of us walking towards his office building — if you squint, you can see two women in black with cute white sneakers, husbands in white ball caps trailing behind.

This photo reminds me that perspective is a beautiful thing.

The problem? We rarely have it.

Most of the time, life is lived on the ground, in the swell of the rest of the humans trying to navigate obstacles (crowds! challenges! cobblestones!). We can see a short distance ahead, and quite a way behind us.

Because we see the past so easily, it can make us live in regret.

Our inability to see the future can be scary.

And what’s the result of that? We have limited perspective. All of us do. We get it right, and we get it wrong sometimes.

We make mistakes and fail.

We’re all living on the ground, bumping around, doing the best we can with what we can see. So today I want to offer you this: failing doesn’t mean you are a failure.

There’s a difference between “I did something wrong” versus “Something is wrong with me.”

If you’ve tried something and failed, maybe it’s time to think of it like a Math problem: I did something wrong. I made a mistake in the math. I took a shot, apparently I did something wrong — and it didn’t work out.

I didn’t do what needed to be done to get the result I wanted.

Maybe that’s what most mistakes are — just getting it wrong. Like getting the Math wrong. No big deal, right? No need for shame, embarrassment, or beating yourself up. Just try again. That’s very different from making a failure mean there’s something wrong with you.

Perspective is everything.

Next time you’re tempted to criticise or shame yourself for getting it wrong, remember this view from my son’s office window. It’s so very different from my view on the ground. We can’t always get it right, but getting it wrong doesn’t mean we are wrong. It just means our actions didn’t create the result we’d hoped for.

And on we go, into a fresh, new week. What a gift: we woke up this morning, and we get to try again.

Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Tearing Down and Rebuilding

Hi everyone (and hello to the new people here). This week I’ve been thinking about renewing relationships and connecting with the people we love. Our family recently took Canadian cousins on a whirlwind tour of Sydney’s CBD, and I snapped this photo of my beloved Queen Victoria Building.

I love beautiful buildings, and QVB is incredible: built in 1898 and designed by a 28 year old architect, it was essentially a make-work project in the middle of a recession so the government could employ out-of-work craftsmen. Take a peek inside…

The QVB is a survivor. Built for a purpose, and reinventing itself over and over—even saved a couple of times from being torn down—the Queen Victoria Building still stands. As of 2010, it was preserved as a historical site.

Here’s what it makes me think about my own life, and possibly yours: we’re built for purpose, but that purpose keeps changing.

I’m in the middle of changing from a mother of teens to a mother of men. In fact, I’m behind…and wow, there’s pain in that. After a few sleepless nights, I realised this week that I need to catch myself up to my current reality.

Maybe you do, too.

Is there something in your life (a role you play, a relationship you have, a skill that used to work) that’s just no longer working?

The biggest challenge I’ve faced lately is that we need to allow each other the space to change.

We need to allow ourselves the space to change.

When the old “fit” no longer works, or feels off, the best thing to do is this:

Allow, allow, allow, allow.

In our relationships, it’s okay for us to feel behind, or out of synch.

We may be wrong about people (especially as they change).

Other people may be wrong about us (because we’re changing, or even because they never really understood us to begin with).

With every iteration of ourselves, with every new year and new set of experiences, the way things worked before may not work in the same way now. And that’s life, right? It’s a cliche because it’s true: the only certainty is change.

Allow, allow, allow. Have the courage to try something new. Reinvent your way of thinking. Test it out. Keep discovering what might work better now…and keep on walking.

I’m wishing you a weekend full of rest and unexpected happiness.

Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Today, try subtraction...

Hello friends, and new friends. It’s mid-Jan, and I’m finally starting to get into my plans for the new year. But this year, I’m trying something different.

Subtraction.

Instead of adding in resolutions of things to do, I’m taking away a few things — not in a New Year’s Resolution sort of way, but in a ‘I don’t need that anymore’ way.

I’m not sure what your list would be, but here’s what I’m subtracting. I’ll start with the small and obvious things, but there’s a big one at the end. Ready?

  • Shoes that don’t fit. You know the ones — the ones that pinch, or are really too high, or don’t feel like they should and are a mistake.

  • Half the junk in the junk drawer. Old rubber bands, unused kitchen tools, nearly empty rolls of tape, etc, etc, etc.

  • Cloth napkins I don’t love and stained dish towels.

  • Workout clothes I never wear, old and saggy t-shirts, tired pyjamas.

  • And on it goes, all through our home…

But there’s one huge thing I’m subtracting, and it’s insidious and tough to do because we’ve been so socialised as women to criticise ourselves. I was inspired by a podcaster I listened to this week.

She decided to stop saying anything mean about her own body. Ever.

No condemning the usual (tummy, face, wrinkles) or the sneaky thoughts we have (arthritic shoulders, an old running injury, feet that hurt).

Can you imagine your life if you subtracted all the negative thoughts you had about your own body, the body that’s trying so hard to serve you?

Here’s a useful re-direct. When a negative thought comes up, tell yourself this:

Then keep going. In time, it gets easier to redirect our thoughts to something more useful.

For me, making peace with all the parts of myself is important, and 2023 is the year I’m going to start with the body that’s done so well in serving me and getting me where I need to go.

Enjoy your beautiful weekend, everyone. I hope something lovely happens to you today.

Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Simple tips to make your home a little nicer

Hi everyone. 2023 is off to a racing start around here — so today I’m sharing random ways I like to zshoosh up my home a little.

If we think of our personal spaces as a nest we create, we usually have the two resources we need to make them a little lovelier:

  • A tiny touch of creativity

  • A dollop of care and attention

Our homes are so important.

The ancient poet Rumi reminds us of this truth about ourselves and our homes:

No matter how simple or grand, our homes often impact how well we feel.

We are all imperfect, with imperfect nests, but there are small ways to make ourselves a little happier at home…

  1. Remember that real people live here. This means your home doesn’t need to feel like a magazine…it needs to feel like YOU. But does it reflect what you love? For me, that’s books, too many family photos, poetry, cozy blankets, a garage gym.

  2. Turn on lights for the people you love (and you!). If I know someone’s coming home at dusk or dropping by during the day, I race to the front door and turn on the hall lights, light a scented candle, and put on some peaceful music. I’ve always done this, especially for our sons coming home from school or work. I don’t know if it matters to anyone, but it matters to me; I want people to walk in and feel welcomed with light, warmth, peace, music. Not a dark entryway.

  3. Use The 10 Minute Fix—the main idea from my best-loved book. So many tiny, irritating jobs can be done in just 10 minutes. It’s true. Set your timer and organise a drawer. Sweep your entryway. Tidy a cupboard. Do the thing you’ve been avoiding. Show your home a little love.

  4. Say thank you. We have a place to call home when so many people on the planet have fear and distress.

  5. Invite someone in. Nobody expects perfection. All we ever want is love.

Enjoy your weekend! I hope you find some time today to feather your nest to make it more uniquely yours.

Catherine x

PS. The Fun Stuff!

  • Did you know you can reflex roses? See the lovely roses above, a gorgeous gift from my friend Claire at New Year’s Eve? The arrangement was huge, and a week later it needed some TLC. The older roses look beautiful when they’re reflexed. It’s so easy to do!

  • Do you need a knife sharpener in your kitchen? I use a simple one, and look—it’s not fancy and who knows it this is the “proper” way to do things BUT when I can’t cut a tomato, I’m so irritated. I pull out this one for two secs and bam. My knife is always sharp.

  • Have you separated your plastic lids from the containers? I store my lids like this attached to the inside of my cupboard door with a 3M hook or try a holder for the cupboard.

Rest and reset for 2023!

Hello, friends. Happy New Year from sunny Sydney. This beautiful artwork is from New Happy Co (and you can find them here!)

In case I got into the new year before you, let me say this: it’s already wonderful, and I really hope you love it.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

I hope you seek out every good moment and savour it in 2023.

I hope love and good fortune knock on your front door, and walk right in.

Look at all those days in front of us—those empty circles waiting for us to fill with the choices we get to make.

A fresh start.

New possibilities.

We have no idea what will happen.

Let’s choose to make it good.

And finally, there’s this: instead of rehashing everything we didn’t do in 2022, let’s take a minute to think about what we’re proud of.

Here’s what I’m asking myself:

  • Did I love all the people I’ve been given to love?

  • Did I find joy in simple things?

  • Did I read, dance, walk outside, sing sometimes, laugh as much as possible? Did I look for beauty and find it? Did I try and keep trying? Was I a good friend? Was I a good friend to myself, also?

Here’s to more of that in 2023.

We have a fresh start, all these days in front of us to fill with contentment and joy.

Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

I'm Dreaming of a White (Sandy Beach) Christmas

Happy holidays, friends.

I hope the season is filled with peace, good cheer and some quiet time to reflect on all you’ve attempted this year.

Growth.

Joy.

Faith.

Resolve.

In the whirlwind of the end of the year, I try to remember that our attempts are worth as much as our successes. That joy prevails, even in the darkness. That the time to be happy is now.

Best wishes from our Aussie home to yours, wherever you are in this beautiful world.

May 2023 be merry and bright.

Love, Catherine x

Everyone will love you for this...

Hi friends. We’re in the lead-up to Christmas, and yesterday I made the most delicious treats. They’re perfect for gifting or for snacking on with family, and I always make them once a year.

Fleur de Sel (Salted) Caramels.

Here’s what you’ll need to find…the rest will be in your pantry.

Fleur de Sel Caramels take a while to make, but they’re very worth the effort. The only thing you need to do that takes some time is wait until the temperature of the mixture is hot enough, and for that you’ll need a candy thermometer (or a digital thermometer).

I took a quick photo of the bubbly mixture for you…smells divine!

The method is quite simple, and the result is so worth it…

Happy Sunday, everyone. I hope your lead-up to the holidays is sweet!

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Want a holiday FUN list?

Happy Sunday, everyone. It’s Catherine Greer - dropping in with the list of holiday fun I promised last week. I’m starting with a photo of me so you know who’s writing to you…hi to all the new people this week! Thanks for joining us.

Now that our sons are 22 and 18, our holiday traditions needed an upgrade, so I decided to become the CFO (Chief FUN Officer) of Christmas this year.

Fun rarely happens unless someone makes an effort, so I’ve taken on the job. Ready to join me?

Let’s start with the Littles.

Fun for Little People

  • Christmas Camp Out on December 23. Anticipation is all the joy, right? Every year I find matching Christmas PJs and wrap them up for a “camp out” under the Christmas tree. When the boys were little, they’d set up sleeping bags and camp out overnight with Dad on the floor of the living room. Christmas Camp Out! The kids went wild about a simple sleepover under the tree. We read the same two stories every year — the Jolly Christmas Postman and Christmas Every Day (link to the pdf…published over a hundred years ago, but you’d think it was written yesterday. Smart and hilarious!). Now that the boys are young men, we still do pjs, the stories for old time’s sake, a delicious dinner and a Christmas movie. Here’s the PJ package label for you. Little kids LOVE Christmas Camp Out. Best of all, it doesn’t have to cost a thing.

Fun for Everyone

  • Christmas Ninjas. I came up with this idea because we’re here in Australia without extended family. Every Christmas Eve when it gets dark, we make an incognito Christmas cookie run to a few houses — but here’s the catch. We wear hilarious outfits, and the boys do the drop off as if it’s “Ring and Run.” This tradition started when they were little—lots of thrills and spills and cunning plans—while the adults drive the “getaway car.” The key is that the outfits / costumes have to be funny. High effort, but so many laughs…

  • Games Night with a prize. The prize is the important part, to get the competition rolling. This year, we plan to do Monopoly or poker with either a cash prize or (because we have boys) a voucher for their favourite takeaway.

  • Christmas Cocktail or Mocktail competition. See who makes the best cocktail or mocktail…again, with a prize. New for us this year.

  • Christmas Ball Game. I hope you don’t find this one borderline inappropriate but it could be funny. You can buy it here or easily make your own with plastic Christmas baubles and cups.

  • Family Olympics. I’m dreading this one, but I’ve got sporty men in my life. We’ll do actual exercises like plank, pushups and sit ups (ugh) but you could do fun events. Send condolences: I’ve already lost.

  • Here’s a crazy one from podcaster Mel Robbins’ family…an “anything but clothes” dinner. What’s the catch? Everyone has to dress for dinner in anything but clothes. Hand all attendees a roll of packing tape and see what they create to wear.

  • Good old Reindeer Antler Toss or Beverage Pong.

  • Christmas coffee morning for friends. Set out the goodies and make the coffee. I always love making the Nutella Puff Pastry Christmas Tree.

  • Make your own beautiful Gingerbread House. My sister’s recipe is here (a long time ago, I wrote a full blog post with pictures to help you make your own…)

  • A few fun gift-giving ideas, compliments of Marlene, an upbeat, vivacious reader in Canada:

    • Every gift you give has to start with the initial of your name. So I’d be giving candy, clothes, cotton tea towels, and cash! You get the idea…

    • Every gift has to be a colour that’s been designated by the organiser: Catherine gives everyone gifts that are pink, Marlene gives everyone something blue, etc…

    • Budget-friendly: you all agree to “shop” at garage sales. This could be hilarious.

How’s that for holiday fun?

I hope I’ve been a little help to you, if you’ve decided to be the Chief Fun Officer in your home. Have a beautiful Sunday…and next week, let’s talk about rest and relaxation.

Love Catherine x

PS. More fun stuff!

I love this question for the holidays...

Hi everyone, and hello if you’re new or haven’t seen me in a while. A quick intro — I’m Catherine Greer, author of a bunch of books (The 10 Minute Fix and Small Steps are Perfect are best-loved). I live in Sydney with my Canadian husband and two young adults sons.

Last night we went to a fabulous party with a lot of fun people and dancing…and all I snapped was this car selfie.

Do you mind if I tell you a quick little story about my dress?

A couple of weeks before the party, a friend who was also invited leaned in and said, “I’m going sparkly.”

Well, that was enough encouragement for me. I said, “I’m going sparkly, too.”

She showed up looking gorgeous, so sparkly and twirly and fun in red. So did many others. The dance floor made me think of my favourite question, the question that truly is the heartbeat of my life.

It’s confronting, though — at least for me. Here it is:

Sometimes I am worried-tired-cranky-self-focused and not that much fun.

Sometimes I want the WORLD to be fun (good things to happen, people to make my life fun) and I forget that BEING fun is more important than HAVING fun.

But mostly I try to remember that fun begins with me.

I want to do more of this during the holidays. I’m going to try out some new, fun traditions because so many of my existing traditions—Christmas Camp Out, Christmas Ninjas—are traditions I created when our boys were little, and now they’re grown young adults and need some fresh holiday fun.

So I decided I’m going to be the CFO of the family, a beautiful idea from Mel Robbins, podcaster and American author.

CFO = Chief Fun Officer.

I’m going to drive up in the metaphorical “fun bus.”

I’m going to plan a few things to bring the fun.

Next week, I’ll share some of my ideas…you’re so welcome to borrow them if anything resonates. And in the meantime, I hope you bring some fun into your weekend…

Thanks for being here. I appreciate that you are!

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

  • Oh my goodness, the beauty of my beloved Canada—you have to see this.

  • If you were at the party with me and you asked — here are my pink boots and very affordable dress. Feel free to get your own. I wouldn’t mind at all…

  • For all the new people today…my books, written with so much love. If you need a girlfriend gift, women often get multiple copies and my books post as a letter for around $4.50 postage. The 10 Minute Fix is on sale now in Australia for $12.

  • Ohhhhh, frost flowers. Absolute magic — have you ever seen one?

  • Email me if you have any fun Christmas traditions!

Ask me how I know...

Hi there friends and new friends! It’s Catherine Greer, popping into your weekend to say hello. So many new faces this week—welcome. Wish you were here having coffee with me and listening to early morning birdsong in Sydney. ❤️

Would you mind if I tell you a quick story?

I ran into a little girl when I was shopping at Target yesterday. She was sitting in the women’s shoe aisle knee-deep in shoes while she waited for her mother in the cosmetics department beside us. She must’ve been nine years old, and she reminded me so much of little Catherine.

She put on high heels over her socks and clomped around, set them back properly and tried on another pair. I watched her HUG the same gold pair I’m wearing in the photo above.

I couldn’t help myself; I leaned down, and I told her this:

“You know, one day you’re going to be a grown woman who works, and you’ll be able to buy all the shoes you want.”

She looked up at me and grinned. We both went back to trying on our heels.

I felt like I’d reached back into my own childhood and whispered a message to ME.

Isn’t it magic? We can do so many things that we couldn’t when we were girls.

  • Make decisions for ourselves.

  • Love who we love.

  • Love WHAT we love.

  • Sneak away for a little break: put your feet up, look at something beautiful (hoar frost, your Christmas tree, a candle you’ve lit, a pretty cup of tea), spritz on some perfume, eat a little chocolate, listen to your favourite song.

I so badly wanted to buy that little girl the gold shoes…but of course, I couldn’t. She was nine and her mother wouldn’t have approved!

But I did buy them for me: shoes from Target, as a beautiful symbol. We’ve all come such a long, long way. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the control we DO have over our rocky and random lives: that we are grown women, and we can treat ourselves a little.

There are infinite ways to do this, and yes, you can.

Enjoy your Sunday. Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

  • What if you showed up with THIS BRIE as a hostess gift during the holidays? Wow.

  • My cousin, Jean McCarthy, just released a new book based on Recovery and her podcast The Bubble Hour. Beautiful reading whatever you might be recovering from…it’s called Take Good Care.

  • The perfect Christmas “girlfriend gift” and SUCH a great sale price today in Australia — my most popular book, The 10 Minute Fix (just $11 today! wow!) followed by Small Steps Are Perfect. Tooting my own horn, but women often buy multiple copies to gift to friends…it’s a little winner.

  • Of course, the gold shoes from Target. More comfortable than you’d think. Perfect for holiday parties, Aussies!

What are your best-loved traditions?

Hi everyone, and hello to all the new people this week! Thank you for being here, and sharing your time with me. ❤️

Can I tell you a little story about why we’re enjoying Christmas early this year?

In this blurry photo, my husband caught me standing beside our treasured Christmas tree…a tree with decorations we’ve collected over the past 25 years of marriage. Isn’t it beautiful?

When I was a little girl, my mum made Christmas magical. We didn’t have a lot, but we had a love for tradition. Out in the country in the middle of the Canadian prairies in the frigid winter, Dad would put up the blue lights on the house, and we always decorated the most fragrant live Christmas tree. I’m the youngest of six, so there were presents and chocolates and delicious baking…games nights and little grandchildren and Christmas music on the stereo on repeat. It was magic. Everything sparkled.

I repeatedly stole baby Jesus from the nativity and carried him around in my pocket until I was outed by my siblings—ha! But he was a baby, and so cute, and removable… I can still hear an indignant sister yelling, “STOP stealing Jesus!” Makes me laugh every time I think of it. 🤣

I loved beauty (still do!), so Christmas — with it’s lights and dazzle, hoar frost and snowy skies — truly delivered.

Today we live in sunny Sydney, and Christmas is summertime, with swimming and beaches…but I still carry the traditions of my family in my heart. Christmas music on repeat. Starting early. Getting out all the sparkle because I love it.

That’s me.

I remember the moment when my eldest son realised how to bring magic to the holidays. He was 20, and it was two Christmases ago. He sat beside me one night while I was gazing at the tree and said this.

I believe this is true.

In almost every situation in life, we have the choice to be the joy. We can be the ones to bring it, in tiny ways.

  • When someone is talking, we can say “Tell me more…”

  • Light a candle in the entryway, so the house smells beautiful when our people come home.

  • Use the cloth napkins and the dress hanging in the closet. Set out the good dishes for afternoon tea.

  • Do what we love (whatever that is). Share our unique loves with the world. For me, it’s making life as beautiful as I can with what I already have. For you, it might be giving other people a sense of peace when they’re with you, or being FUN, or listening, or…

I love the idea that we can all use what we have in our own two hands.

It may be that we can give a lot.

It may seem like a little.

But it matters that we share who we are and what we love.

Today, I’m wishing you the chance to share yourself. To bring the joy. Be the fun. As I wrote at the end of my book, Small Steps Are Perfect, “we need you here. Shining.”

Love Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

I find this quick tip helpful...

Happy Sunday, and hello!

For all the new people this week, I’m Catherine Greer, author, mother of young adult sons and wife living in beautiful Sydney, Australia. I love to capture photos of tiny, usual things — little moments of beauty like this rainy carpark with cloudy skies.

Today let’s talk about worry.

We all do it, right?

Whenever I feel worried, overwhelmed, tired, dispirited — I whisper some words, written more than six hundred years ago.

They were written by Julian of Norwich (1343-1416). It’s important for women to know about Julian (sometimes called Juliana) because she was the author of the earliest known English language writings by a woman.

Isn’t it incredible that a woman was allowed to write at that time?

Isn’t it amazing that her writing survived and can still reach us today?

The repetition (called anaphora, in case you love writing and language like I do!) is what makes Julian’s words so beautiful and memorable.

Whispering “all shall be well” is so much more helpful than diving into worry or fear. If you’re keen, try it now and see how you feel…but use the anaphora, okay?

Say it like Julian wrote it — three times.

It’s simple, but it works.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

(Not some, but all. All manner of things…kids and work and finances and health and life and death and sorrow and joy and uncertainty and pain…)

In the end, all of it shall be well.

Wishing you a beautiful Sunday filled with unexpected, tiny joys.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Can you get romantic?

Hello, friends around the world…I’m dropping by to send you a weekly dose of positivity and happiness!

Today, here’s a question: do you need a little “leading lady” energy?

If you’re feeling off or a tiny bit blah, could it be because it’s time to shift focus away from all the worries and concerns, and into a perspective of WOW?

I know that sounds simplistic, and yes, life is hard, but can you take a moment to bring your Leading Lady out for a stroll? NYT Bestselling author Gregg Braden wrote this, and it struck me.

It is so easy to forget that our life is ours.

That we are driving our attitude.

That in every second — in the commute, in the cup of coffee, in the conversation — we have a choice:

  • mundane or fun

  • worried or hopeful

  • bitter or sweet

As you know, my family’s gone through a difficult time, but also — the sun still shines, the morning dawns, we have today to enjoy or dismiss as if it’s nothing.

Choose.

It was a key word in my first novel for young adults, and I’m thinking of it again this morning. Today I choose sweet (not bitter). I choose Leading Lady energy. I hope you join me in getting out there and having some fun.

I hope something WONDERFUL happens to you today.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Focus on the sweet

Hello, friends, and welcome to all the new people this week!

I’m Catherine Greer, living in Sydney, writer and mother of two young adult sons (one on the verge of graduating from high school…yay!), wife of a guy who loves to read as much as I do, baker of cakes and macarons, lover of little dogs, and expert at celebrating everything. Honestly, if any little good thing happens to you, call me: I’ll be there to cheer you on.

It’s finally feeling like summer in Australia, and though the weather’s been heating up, I’ve been tired and worried.

If you’ve been struggling a little like I have, here’s a quick tip for BOTH of us today.

Let’s look for some joy. Here’s how:

The sweetness is always there. (So are the flaws.)

Today I choose to focus on the sweet.

Happy Sunday, everyone. In case you haven’t been told today, remember three important things:

  • You’re probably doing a better job than you think you are.

  • You have a beautiful heart.

  • Today is all yours to enjoy and savour. How? By searching for the sweet.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Have a gentle Sunday...

Hi friends. Thank you for all the beautiful emails this past week after my sad news. I appreciate you all, even though I didn’t have the emotional energy to respond and be present for my family. Thank you for your virtual (((hugs))) and thoughtfulness, flowers and cards. It meant the world to me.

For your Sunday, here’s something I read worth sharing. It’s a reminder from Dr Caroline Leaf on our desire to control the future.

That last line struck me as true: you need to trust your future self to handle future problems.

That’s why, right now, we can relax. Our future self will handle future problems. And also—perhaps even more importantly—that’s why we need to take our shot, and do the thing that scares us.

  • Make the call.

  • Send out the book proposal.

  • Reach out to a potential new friend (new partner?)

  • Sign up for the class.

  • Step outside the comfort zone that your mind has built for yourself, where you are safe, and the same, and you’re trying so hard to control your security.

It’s a cliche because it’s true: all the magic and growth happens outside our comfort zone.

Your future self will take care of you, no matter what happens: if you’re rejected, if you feel embarrassed or ashamed…and even if, like my beautiful sister and her family, you experience loss that seems too devastating to face.

Your future self will be wiser, stronger, and there for you.

I hope you have a beautiful Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

  • For sisters everywhere: this made me laugh so much, and I needed it.

  • I told you I’d report back on these shoes. The verdict? I love them for summer. They’re a bit narrow, so I used my shoe stretcher and it worked so well. Why are they good? Because they’re flats that look like wedges. You could walk for days…

  • But I also love these stacked wedge sandals available in Australia—brilliant for wide feet—and so, so comfortable. The photos don’t do them justice. Affordable, not leather, but so comfortable and cute.

  • If you want a fun middle grade novel for a Christmas present, my English writer-friend Susie Bower just released her third book and it’s fabulous. Find it here — also pictured with our beautiful Violin & Cello on sale today for $19.99. (If you could rate and review, that really helps authors!)

I'm heartbroken...and hope-filled.

Friends, this past Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, my prairie family walked through the loss of an irreplaceable, joyful boy in a tragic, tragic accident. Hearts are absolutely shattered, and yet…we breathe, we draw close, we wake up in the morning to love the people we’ve been given to love.

This week, I watched my sister become heroic.

Women carry the sorrows of the world. Men, too, but women…women put all the pain and grief of families in a heavy handbag and sling it onto a sagging shoulder. And we keep walking.

I guess that’s why we need each other like we do, to talk and comfort and be sisters (even when we’re not related). I feel like that about so many of you, around the world, reading this now. We’re like-minded, like-hearted, and together.

I’ll be back next week with more uplifting news. But for now, a little comfort for me and mine in the shape of a poem. If you’ve ever grieved or lost someone, maybe you’ll like it, too.

Thank you for listening.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy your beautiful, ordinary day.

Love, Catherine x

Well, she's a bit much...

Happy Sunday, my friends (and all the new friends this week!) I’m Catherine, up early in the rain writing to you while my family sleeps in. I’ve lit the candles and made hot coffee. So far, the day has been beautiful, and this week should be fun. I’m celebrating 25 years of marriage to this guy on Tuesday. A bit about my family: we have an 18 year old sitting his final exams for high school next week (gahh!) and heading to uni in February, and a 22 year old finishing up his Law-Commerce double degree. We live in Sydney, and the photo above was taken at my favourite beach in the world, Hyams Beach in New South Wales.

Here’s what I want to share this weekend—for you, if you’ve ever had someone roll their eyes and call you a “bit much.”

We need you to be as much of yourself as you want to be.

Your contribution to the world—your brand of JOY—is why you’re here. I love these words from Lindsay Rush:

Aren’t we so lucky to have YOU?

Yes. Yes, we are.

Enjoy your Sunday. I hope you have a brilliant one.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

Remember This For Later...

Hi everyone. Jasmine’s out in Sydney, and the world smells like perfume. It’s a beautiful day to feel like everything’s just fine, but sometimes…life hands us a challenge we weren’t expecting.

For me…my internet friend in California is fighting a terrible, swift, unexpected cancer.

We’re up to our eyeballs in helping our son study for his year twelve exams.

Other things — hard things — we all have them, don’t we? (Just insert your hard things here, my friend, the things we don’t share…that sadness that feels like a cobra around your heart.)

If today you are worried or sad, if someone has hurt you or worse, I have this to offer. I love the work of The New Happy Co!

Remember that thoughts are temporary.

Treat yourself and your thoughts with kindness.

Look at YOURSELF with compassion.

Then…

Consider the last time your hands helped, your words comforted, your face lit up, and you loved the people you’ve been given to love.

Your life, your contribution and mine, our gifts…they matter. Our thoughts are temporary, but our service to other people can live on in ways we don’t even know. Our place in the world matters, however huge and famous and flashy, however quiet and unknown.

Happy Sunday, everyone. Enjoy your beautiful day.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

But should you?

Hi everyone, and hello new people this week! Just a quick photo of me to remind you who is sending you this weekly Love Our Age newsletter. I’m Catherine, writer, mother of two young adult sons, wife, and Aussie-Canadian living in Sydney.

Twilight is my favourite time of day…as you can see from this snapshot outside our home. There’s something so lovely about turning the lights on where you live and looking inside your nest. You notice all the warmth there, the chaos and the love.

The people and things you treasure, the safety and warmth you create…

As women, we do so much. I often think we’re the beating heart of our families, our group of friends.

Why, then, is it easy to overlook all the good in us, to zero in on the ways we should be improving?

All the external messages (media, celebrities) and even the internal messages (our own minds) tell us we should be faster, better organised, more patient, better at self-care.

We should be more confident, energetic, and work harder.

We should rest! We should know how to take care of ourselves! And at the same time, we should make sure we’re loving all the people we’ve been given to love.

But here are two important, introspective questions.

Who are we when we stop performing?

Who are we when we stop ‘shoulding’ all over ourselves?

We’re valuable. We matter. What we love matters, too. So does rest, which we all deserve.

That’s all — and it’s enough to remember on this beautiful weekend in September.

I hope you have a relaxing Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS. The fun stuff!

  • It’s Spring in Australia, and Fall in the northern hemisphere. Time to reread my favourite poem by G.M. Hopkins. Remember? “Margaret, are you grieving / Over Goldengrove unleaving?”

  • Favourite mascara (people keep asking me…this one looks so natural!).

  • Twilight in Iceland — the sky!

  • I write books! You might have read my nonfiction for women (The 10 Minute Fix and Small Steps are Perfect.) Violin & Cello is my new picture book with illustrator Joanna Bartel (busy with a new baby!) and Alex Lau, composer (busy at uni!). Out now in Australia in bookshops and at Amazon and Booktopia. Pre-order in Canada, America and here in the UK.

Try this happiness tip...

Good morning from Australia, where the blossoms are out and we’re enjoying spring! This week I’ve been thinking of an idea I heard about and loved.

It’s not self-care. It’s exquisite care.

Before you tell me, yes, yes, but I have so much on my plate…take a second, please, and think about yourself.

What if we took exquisite care of ourselves — what would that look like?

Exquisite care.

Let me tell you a quick story. I was driving home in the rain from a long day of errands, and I thought about exquisite care. What did it mean? How could I do it when I was stuck in traffic? Then I remembered I love peaceful music in the rain. So I put on This is Goldmund and drove and listened.

That’s exquisite care. (For me.)

Today, how would you take exquisite care of you?

It’s the little things, baby.

Quick — think of what YOU love. Your special list. Here’s mine:

  • Baking something.

  • Hot coffee. Even better, in an English bone china cup, with a saucer.

  • Being in nature and not hearing traffic.

  • Reading before bed. (Ohhhhh, getting into an already-warm bed!)

  • Perfume.

  • Dressing up to show my respect for someone’s event, or to respect what I love to do. (Example: I always dress up for my Thursday night dance class. I’ve turned it into ‘date night’ even if it’s only the class and the drive home with my husband. I have the clothes anyway. I love the class. Exquisite care, for me, is loving the entire experience and showing that I value it.)

You get the idea. Exquisite care doesn’t need to be self-care (bubble baths, all that time, etc etc). It means thinking about what matters to you. Maybe it’s not dressing up or hot coffee, but it’s something.

Do you even know what it is? What is your exquisite self-care?

Thinking of you all around the world today, and sending you love.

Catherine xx

PS. The fun stuff!